From subconscious to conscious; from conscious to word; from word to pen; from pen to paper; from paper to eyes; from eyes to conscious; from conscious to subconscious. Insanity is a state of mind which every human suffers from, but few realize their own insanity or the insanity of those around them, for some forms of insanity are considered to be the norm. Mankind has chased insanity since the dawn of our existence and now we see it staring us down; our demons unleashed from Pandora's Box at our own curiousity's request; those that come before us setting the pace for our insanity by following the paths of those that came before them and them before them. Our suffering; entirely our own creation, though far removed and the creation of a different generation; when will we waken from our cooperative nightmare and begin to truly experience life as was first intended?

Monday, April 1, 2013

In The Darkness (Find Me)

First poem I've written in a while. Just like riding a bike. :)
 
In the cool darkness find me
standing amid pale moon light
There I will be
a man of stature and size
not creeping through shadows
nor lurking with intent maddening
but striding forward
fiery spirit within me, blazing
hidden behind darkened eyes
born of the need to survive
Look as if I fit in
Be like and look like them
for if I don't, tis my downfall
as they rip to shreds something
as they rip to shreds me
for satisfaction so momentary
a brief respite from what I sought
to bring to the world; their loss
Causing them to think thoughts
they'd rather not
buried down deep in consciousness
stored in forgottenness
rage and anger and torment
sorrow and bitter regret
secrets behind lies
lies behind secrets
doors shut and never opened
doors opened that should be shut
cycling and circulation through unstable
frames of minds; they're unable
to exercise, beyond their current frame
lost to the box they can't escape
but find me in the darkness
standing amid pale moon light
There I will be, where no one looks to see
hidden behind darkened eyes
striking blows for frightened minds
because freedom is a dream shared
It is a dream fought for and protected
On all fronts and in all ways
and we deserve freedom of peace of mind
freedom on all fronts and in all lives
so that no more have to live in
sorrow and pain and torment
and no more will have to suffer
the way that some suffer
too intense and too wrong for words
where only silence is
and thought just can't sum up
so much loss, so much anger
so much sadness; rage; unconstrained
caused by ourselves and our fellow man
failing to rise above inferior plan
falling prey to enemies that have preyed
on our species for far too long
and have put paid
to every bit of our societal decay
Find me in the darkness
Standing in the moonlight
Gazing up at stars and sky
There I stand and there I fight.

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Jesus was Just a Man

I actually want to take the time today to touch on things other than the original meaning behind Easter.

First of all, I want to explain that the true meaning behind Easter isn't that we should respect prostitutes or wanton sex with strangers. That wasn't what the pagans believed at all, though it was incorporated into their teachings. The original Ishtarians (those who believed in the Goddess Ishtar) believed in the sanctity of union and they respected sex. They didn't just go out and have it for no reason, though eventually there came believers of the faith that did so, not understanding the meaning of it all.

They gave of themselves to embody the living Goddess and to honor her; they enabled equality insofar as any woman may be the embodiment of the Goddess and, in fact, they made it mandatory that every woman do so before settling down with a man, to give honor and thanks to the Goddess of Fertility. Child Birth was viewed as a sacred thing and rightly so. It wasn't a slur to call women prostitutes back then, but to give honor to those women that gave of themselves to the Goddess.

I also wanted to touch on Jesus' original teachings; which I think the church has left out for too long. It conflicted too much with what Rome wanted at the time and what Catholics and Christians wanted. In the way of men, they sought to change what was taught to suit what they wanted to believe.

Jesus did not teach any one religion or view any one God as THE God. The Catholic church; for it had yet to split and become the Christian church AND the Catholic Church for the Holy Wars had yet to happen in that regard; is the religion that Jesus knew the best and did use it in examples he used for his teaching. It was shown throughout the bible that Jesus didn't necessarily agree with the teachings of that bible or the people that improperly represented those teachings. He did see the goodness inherent and buried within, though.

Jesus mostly taught goodness toward your fellow man; love and understanding. He sought to destroy the differences between men and to show them the similarities they all shared. His mission was one of peace and was filled with much sadness because he saw what men were like; too unwilling to be peaceful and reasonable; too wild for power to give up that power for the sake of those around them.

Jesus was marked as heretic; not because he taught the same things the church did; but because he sought to teach things that the church and the people in power did not like. All of the under-privileged people loved Jesus and promoted him as a hero in their hearts. He was intelligent and thoughtful and while it seemed that he worked miracles, he only worked with what was already available to any human who was able to see the power behind the simple mechanic. He used psychology and peoples own minds to heal the people; he lived a lie so that others could believe. And they did, and what they believed became true.

When you want to know what Jesus taught, since those records have been stricken from the bible; remember that Jesus taught pure goodness; he taught that it didn't matter what you believed so long as you believed in goodness and good things. He did not judge his neighbor, though he often wished they would find ways to better themselves and move past their mental blocks of ignorance. He did not hate anyone; in fact, he felt sad for all of the people in the world at that time and all of the people that came after, because he could see the line of trouble and tribulation that lead to each person and would lead away into the future. He saw patterns and recognized the importance of those patterns and allowed them to lead his life.

In the end, Jesus was just a man; nothing extraordinary. The one difference in him is that he actively searched for goodness in his heart and all around him. He would not lay down and let darkness devour his soul. 16 years are missing from his life when you read about him in the bible; 16 years of finding himself and making mistakes that the catholic church left out of the bible to keep alive the image of perfection that they wanted; knowing that as long as people believed that Jesus was perfect; that nobody else would become like him and come so close to ruining their control of everything.

He did make mistakes; he did live life; he was confused and lost and he sinned over and over again; until he found himself in the desert, staring down an illusionary mirage of the devil created from the struggle within his own mind.

The fact is that while Mary may have still been a virgin after birthing Jesus; immaculate conception and all; Joseph did not believe that she was true to him. He became vicious and mean and all talk of Joseph after the conception ceases because of this. He probably took up drinking and became abusive to Mary and Jesus, calling her a whore and not recognizing Jesus as his son. Jesus suffered a lot in his life. He had to have, to be able to see life the way he did.

You know, I could make theories at this point that it was some alien that visited Mary and that the immaculate conception was nothing more than advanced technology and embryo placement within the womb. We're close to that stage, now; where we would be able to place an embryo within a womans womb without surgery and without sticking something up her vagina; with our own technology. The fact is, though; that nobody knows for certain what happened back then in that regard. Whether it was an Angel from God or Advanced technology.

Humans are the same no matter what age we live in, though; and we can reasonably sit here and acknowledge the simple facts of human psychology that had to have been present to make Jesus into the icon that he became.

The History of the Temple of Ishtar a.k.a. The Origins of Easter

In Her Temples in many lands from Egypt to Assyria to Babylon to Crete to India, in Rome and Greece and many Celtic lands, Her Temples had Sacred Priestesses who were also called Prostitutes by those of body denial religions. Her worship was in the arms of the Priestess who embodied and represented The Goddess(s). These worshipers are sometimes known as pagans.

A fundamental difference in the concept of worship is important to note: In the Temples of the old ways people would go to the temple TO BE WORSHIPPED not to worship. Women would go to the temple to serve the Goddess to embody Her, to represent Her, to be worshipped as Her. Women would spend a day, or a week, or a year serving at the Temple as a priestess, as a sacred Prostitute, as a whore in service to the Goddess. There they would be worshipped as the incarnation of the Goddess, as The Goddess Herself.

Men would come to Her Temple TO BE WORSHIPPED. Men would be welcomed and served by the Priestesses and men would represent the divine male principal, the Horned One, the Sacred Bull, The God. Men would come to the temple to give their love and passion to The Goddess, and would receive the passion, love, and affection of The Goddess.

But some three millennia ago there came monotheists who refused Her Worship preferring instead to be diminished in body and spirit. They called Her, "The Whore of Babylon, who leads men into fornication." They called our sacred sexuality "sin," and cast shame on Her sacred Priestesses. They held up a "virgin" as the ideal that women should imitate instead of the sacred Goddess that they had always held as the most sacred image of Woman. This is essentially the state of things in the modern world.

The two principal deities of ancient Babylon were Baal and Ishtar. Baal was the god of war and the elements and Ishtar the goddess of fertility - both human and agricultural. These two deities have roots going back before Babylon to Nimrod at Babel and to Assyria. Through the ages they were imported into other nations and under different names but always retaining the same basic characteristics. Baal was also called Bel, Baalat, Molech, Merodach, Mars and Jupiter, and was frequently represented as a bull. Ishtar was also called Aphrodite, Astarte, Ashtoreth, Cybele or Sybil, Diana, Europa, Isis, Semiramis and Venus. The two main elements in the worship of Baal were fire and human sacrifice, usually children.

Ishtar was worshipped via offerings of produce and money as well as though fornication with temple prostitutes. It is this last characteristic that helps make the tie between religious Babylon and kings and merchants. In his book The Secret of Crete, H.G. Wunderlich reports that before marriage, every woman in Babylon was required to go to the temple of Ishtar and lie with a stranger. We have a similar report from Gerhard Herm in his book, The Phoenicians (1) , where women in the Canaanite cities of Tyre, Sidon and Byblos were required to become prostitutes for a day and give themselves to foreign guests during the spring festival. This festival survives today in the name of "Easter", which is derived from the word "Ishtar". Note that the women were to prostitute themselves with strangers or foreigners. In ancient times, the foreigners in these cities were mostly composed of traveling merchants and political dignitaries. In the third century A.D. the historian Eusebius described the patrons of these temples in this way: "It was a school of godlessness for those dissipated men, who had ruined their bodies in the pursuit of luxuriousness. The men were soft and effeminate, were no longer men; they had betrayed the honor of their sex; they believed they must worship their god with impure lust."




so, I hope everyone has a good Easter holiday full of goddess-loving prostitutes and lots of fertile sex.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Mosaic of Life

See the mosaic picture of life as a whole; hanging on a wall. Imagine each piece leading into each other; each with different information and different images painted upon them. Imagine all of the things you can not know forming a part of that puzzle and see that everything has a pattern; every single minute thing adds to the whole of the larger picture in ways that we can't ever fully understand.

At this point, look for all of the hate and negativity that you can view in the world today. Know that it stemmed from one of those pieces that you can't possibly know and that it has a pattern to it just the same as the larger picture has a pattern. Imagine a mosaic within a mosaic and within that smaller mosaic of things you can't possibly know, fill in the gaps with what you can know and imagine the line of sorrow and tragedy that must have lead to that inevitable outcome that you know.

Imagine all of the painful times in your own life and imagine that times 1000. You now know the pain that many people had to endure to procure the end result of a single bad event.

Now imagine how much good you could do by changing the pattern of the mosaic that is your own life. Instead of adding your own negativity combined with the negativity leading up to you into a future accumulation of negativity greater than your own; you could convert the negative to positive and create a new pattern; a new mosaic within a mosaic.

Now imagine that it never ends; that there continues to be a mosaic within a mosaic no matter how closely you wish to view the picture; there is always one step more; more details you could view. And as much as you backed away to view the larger picture, it kept going and going and you continued to realize just how much comes into play in deciding the outcome of any given situation and just how much you don't know and don't understand about the world around you or how we all came into being.

This is reality and this is truth and if you want the world to change, then all you have to do is simply be the change you wish to see and fight to stay that way no matter what is thrown at you; converting it into what you wish to put out. Be the butterfly flapping its wings on this side of the world today; causing the winds to blow years after the butterfly ceases to exist.

Break Free

Break free of hate and negativity; dare to be positivity and light and stand as a pillar among men who seek to destroy such pillars. Spread your message of light and love as much as others spread their message of death and destruction. All are one and one is all and we are all together. The more you fight this fire with the same fire, the worse things get. Fight with love and understanding; purge the old fire with a new fire that burns brighter and hotter than the sun. You simply can not win a fight with hate and negativity, because you become part of the problem and only perpetuate those things in others. Win by the realization of such and become a being of light that can't be touched by such things.

Get to know people, starting with the people around you; get to know their faults and their strengths; where they've been and where they're going. See the damage that has been done to them by generations upon generations of men and women before them, passing these things on to them like traditions based in evil. See the struggle that each person faces within themselves and outside of themselves and *be* patience and understanding. Do not allow these people to abuse you or your relationship with them, but give them trust and respect insofar as any human basely deserves, because all humans deserve trust and respect; regardless of action; just for continuing to try to live in this fucked up world.

You can love and understand at the same time as not put up with people who are beyond help. You can only give so much of yourself to a person and they will not learn what they need to learn if you constantly allow them to trample over you. You have to be tough but fair; you have to set your foot down and say that no person will move past this line unless they show me they deserve more.

We are human; we make mistakes; but the only true mistake is giving up and failing to learn from those mistakes the things that we should learn about humanity in general and ourselves.

Face of the Deep

When you look upon the face of the deep; whether in our own earthly waters or those that we refer to as space; it is impossible to remain unchanged. What you view and what you see when you look through the looking glass to what lays on the other side will irrevocably change your life forever. They are mirror images; one going forever inward and one going forever outward; with currents and cross-currents that we fail to fully understand; and we lack the technology to scour the deeps for that understanding to cross the threshold that needs to be crossed.

But what if evil rests in the deep? What if the viewing of certain parts of the deep caused evil to take root in man and that all of our foibles, etc. stem from the simple act of viewing a malevolent force which we never expected to encounter? Think of it as opening Pandora's Box. Curiousity begged us to look inside even though we were warned of the danger and expressly told not to do so. As we viewed the inside, we realized a deeper, more powerful truth that we weren't ready to face and in that hour of truth, we formed a new truth based on it. That truth is functional, yet extremely limited and is not the pure truth.

It remains truth uncompleted; truth cut off in mid-viewing. Truth seeking to be completed yet never finding purchase upon mankind for the truth that they have taken in hand from the initial viewing and basing all other things on that incomplete truth. It would shake the very foundations of the world we created for that truth to be completed and people now fear the crumbling of the faulty world they've come to know.

This is the deep within ourselves. It moves as surely as the waters move; as surely as space moves. It moves within us, defining us in ways we can't know or see or fully understand so long as we put constraints on our thoughts. It has personality; so why should we assume that the deep of the ocean and the deep of space don't also have personality? Perhaps they are prone to mood-changes the same as we are and perhaps that is why they seem random.

Do not fear the deeps; whether they are of your own mind, the waters upon the earth, or the very space that surrounds everything. There are scary and terrifying things in the deep, and they should definitely be avoided until one is able to see them for what they are; but there are great and awesome things there as well; things you will never know about or view if you allow fear to stop you from viewing.

Never be so afraid of what might happen that you cease looking entirely. Take it in small steps and don't rush; be the pioneer, savoring the adventure and each step of the journey; look at everything as if it were new and profound and as if it might hold possible danger. Prepare yourself and be ready, but also be ready for beauty and things never witnessed before.

Our minds are as inward and expansive as the space that rests outside of this planet and encompasses everything. There is so much to explore; so much that is limited by our very 'truths' that remain incomplete; and you will never know until you let go of those truths and search for new ones, better ones that make more sense.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Wake the Fuck Up

People need to wake themselves up already. Wake up and start feeling shit again; wake up and start caring about shit again, whether it hurts or not. Wake up and listen to what other people have to say whether you like it or not because there's the possibility that what they say is the truth. Wake up and stop laughing at and making fun of people you think are being silly because there's the possibility that they're not being silly at all and that you're being the silly one for making fun of their highly possible stories, etc. Wake up and fight the battle for good, because it's worth fighting for. JUST FUCKING WAKE UP ALREADY! Stop being the sheep in the field; the pigs in the sty; and wake the fuck up. You want to get pissy; then get pissy; but get the fuck over it afterward.

THIS IS YOUR WAKE UP CALL: Humanity is on a path of self destruction while good people sit by and live their good lives as long as nothing affects their life too much. They turn a blind eye to what goes on because they're simply too fucking afraid to stand up and do something about it; too damn afraid to actually step up and be the truth in the lie that they've told others their entire lives. You're letting your fellow man destroy each other because you lack the imagination to find a better way and you gave up trying.

You're letting evil consume this world by letting negativity and bad emotions run rampant through society; instead of rising up to be better than it all and set the example for others; most people give in because its easier to deal with the pain than to fight to be free from it.

Stop living in fucking shame and remorse; quit feeling sorry for yourselves and WAKE THE FUCK UP. NOW is when it's important to fight. Let go of your pain and your insecurities and your negativity; let go of your sense of self and WAKE UP; be the vessel that light pours through, not the one that darkness overwhelms. Be the voice in the silence; be the light in the dark; be the pillar that stands on the shoulders of past pillars and for the Love of all things good in the world: WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!